The idea of talking to a parent about Assisted Living can feel overwhelming. Will they be open to having a conversation? Will they walk away? And perhaps most importantly – is this a discussion we even need to be having?
For many family caregivers, the senior living journey begins and ends at this stage – when we question our motivations and how our parents might react to them. But by utilizing the tips in this blog, you can discuss the next stage of life in a way that leaves you both feeling optimistic about the future.
Be conscious of the time and place.
If possible, avoid having the discussion immediately following an emergency or crisis. Instead, be aware of the signs and seek out conversations in calm, low-stress environments.
Why is this important? Because it emphasizes creating a safe and comfortable space for a difficult conversation.
Example – You’re at brunch with mom and she mentions how much she’s missed interacting with people. You might mention that Assisted Living communities offer opportunities for connection every day.
Listen and validate concerns.
If your loved one responds defensively, remind them that this is a back-and-forth conversation. Acknowledge that this is their decision and that these are not your demands.
Why is this important? Because it establishes trust and shows respect for your loved one’s feelings.
Example – Mom seems hesitant to the idea. Acknowledge her stressors and try asking open ended questions. “I know how scary the idea of moving is. But do you think you would be happier if you had a larger social circle?”
Give your loved one reasons to be excited.
Odds are that your loved one is acutely aware of the stigmas surrounding senior living. Rather than focusing on misconceptions, highlight the ways in which Assisted Living can actually help them lead a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle.
Why is this important? Because it shifts the perspective from fear and loss to gain and opportunity.
Example – Mom acknowledges that being a part of a community could be nice, but she’s worried about losing her independence. You could mention that Assisted Living communities will empower her to be independent through exercises classes, arts and crafts courses, and regular trips into town. If she’s introverted, emphasize the freedom she has to simply relax from the comfort of her suite or apartment.
Involve your loved one in the decision-making process.
Further emphasize that this is their choice by encouraging them to ask questions, explore their options, and tour communities with you by their side.
Why is this important? Because it respects the autonomy of your loved one while helping them get excited about the possibilities.
Example – Mom is slowly becoming open to the idea. Rather than letting her know that you’ve already scheduled a tour at your community of choice, refer her to a website where she can learn more about locations in her area.
Most of all – be patient and keep the conversation going!
This is rarely a one-and-done conversation, and your loved one will likely need time to process the idea and come to their own decision. Keep communication open, revisit the topic when appropriate, and trust that they’ll make the best possible decision. In the meantime, if there’s anything we can do to support, help is just a short click away!
To learn more about our Assisted Living services or Assisted Living cost, visit our service line page located here.